The thing I love the most is killing me

Here is a quick back story to make a little sense of my dietary adventures: In 2006 I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. It was somewhat of a relief at first, to be able to put a name to what I had been experiencing for the last 20 years, not have to deal with Doctors telling me that it was "stress" or "irritable bowel", and to eat "bland" foods, whatever those are. I was excited that I would be able to get medication that was specifically for my problems, and I couldn't wait to start feeling better!


This was short lived. Optimism gradually became despair and self pity. Come to find out, at 24 years old I had one of the "most advanced cases" any doctor that I spoke to had ever seen. There are only about 5 different medications for Crohn's and none of them were working on me. Surgery was not an option, because while most people have a small concentrated area in their intestines that is affected, mine were riddled with ulcers and polyps throughout the small and large. Over the next 2 years I went up and down in weight, on and off of steroids, various medications, and different diets. Between 2007 and 2008 I was hospitalized over 24 times. I lived in the Mayo Clinic for a while. Turns out they are nicer to you, but not much more help than any other doc on the block, just more expensive. They all wanted the same thing, which I refused: REMICADE. We'll discuss my reasons in another post.


I have tried so many different diets under and out of the supervision of doctors and naturopaths that it's insane. One thing was slightly successful in that period of time, the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, Known as SCD from here on. I never adhered 100% however, so can't really say how much it has benefited me. Reason number 1 being, IT IS HARD AS HELL. I'm not going to downplay or sugar coat this. This diet SUCKS. Mostly because it is restrictive, cuts out most social eating situations, and is incredibly inconvenient. Forget about trying to vacation on it. UG. Some people may think I sound like a spoiled brat, but maybe I like going out to eat OK? I really love food. I am a foodie. I love the dining experience, I love food from all different cultures, I love cooking (and I'm damn good at it), baking, the sensual aspect, the social aspect, everything about it! That's what is so infuriating. The thing I love the most is mostly what makes me sick. Not just a little allergy here either, we're talking bleeding colon (sorry, I tend to be rather graphic and not hold back much, expect TMI throughout) and trips to the ER. However, at this point in my life I think I am ready to take the plunge and make a serious life change. You see, I am overweight and extremely unhappy because of steroids that I can't get off of because they are literally keeping me alive. My Crohn's is not acting up, but I'm getting terrible side effects (i.e., someone hugged me and broke my rib 4 days ago, weak immune system, fatty deposits in cheeks, WTF). I'm currently taking 52 supplements per day on top of that from my NMD, and this is sucking me dry since none are covered by health insurance. I'm tired of going to the doctor or naturopath once a month and writing down all my poops. I'm tired of just getting by. I want to feel good and look good again!


It's hard being so young and not being able to go out to sushi or pizza with friends, and that is one major reason I failed any diet in the past. For the last year I have given into just taking Prednisone to calm my inflammation and pretty much eating how I want. This doesn't necessarily mean fast food or junk food either. A dinner of drive through hamburgers will have the same negative effect on me that seared scallops over a bed of baby arugula will. But now, I want off these steroids more than anything, and I know that if I can try the SCD again I might have some chance of really curing myself of this incurable disease. It also has the pleasant side effect of making you drop pounds like crazy, and the drugs have put 20 on me in the last 6 months. For a full list of side effects check this out. Mania is the 3rd one, It's pretty scary.


So... The REAL reason for this blog is to keep track of the ingenious recipes I am going to come up with in the following months and share them with others. I will also use it to bitch about stuff from time to time. There are a TON of fantastic blogs and recipes out there, but frankly I'm a little tired of making dense banana bread and homemade yogurt cheesecakes. I'm talking real food for real foodies, and simply making it SCD legal. I can only find ONE freaking hot sauce on the market that I can even ingest dammit! So I'll be making my own. This will take some time however, because I only started the diet (for the 3rd time in my life) 2 days ago and this time I'm doing the "intro diet" for a LONG time before I jump into advanced foods. Be warned also, this is not your mommy's baking blog. I am going to curse and describe my bowel movements and talk about my fat ass (not fat for much longer!).


When all is said and done, I just hope that I am able to get out there and help others on the diet find some more options and some more excitement in their diet as well, all the while holding my self accountable for my recovery.